Week 49

Week 49.  After 49 weeks of coming up with something to say, I'm not sure there is much left.  There is only so much profound knowledge one can come up with... notice I didn't say there is only so much profanity one can come up with... because that is different, and I have not yet found a limit there.  Believe me I've tested it.

Moving on

Forest Gump's mamma says "life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gona get".

An interesting and somewhat fatalistic approach, but there is a ring of truth to it.  You can work hard, eat right, exercise and get smooshed by a bus.  But Man!  Your heart and lungs will be the talk of the morgue!

We are always talking about mastery.  Which basically translates as work hard, do your best and don't settle.  A good approach, but it is still just hedging your bets.  There are always X factors that are beyond our sphere of influence.  By working hard, doing your best, and not settling you are laying the foundation for success.  This definitely increases the chances for success.  But it can't over ride the X factors.

It can, however, help us deal with those X factors when they do come up.  Sometimes stuff happens.  It's what we do about it that can be as defining as what we do to prevent it.  I have witnessed a sense of entitlement, for lack of a better word.  People who "do everything right" and still have a heart attack.  Of course they are  shocked from it happening, but in many cases they go to the "not fair" well.  Hate to break the bubble but life isn't fair.  Doing everything right doesn't guarantee us anything and life doesn't owe us anything.

That is the down side of reality, we have to be grown ups.  Mastery helps us to cope I believe.  Because there has to be a degree of self realization.  To paraphrase - Correction is essential to power and mastery.  You must be able to correct without invalidating one's self. -

Self realization, self correction, self accountability.  These things are essential for success.  These are the things that truly empower a person to practice mastery.  If it ain't broke, don't fix it?  Fine, but how do you find out if it's broke or not?  Self realization.  How do you maintain it?  Self correction.  How do you deal with it in the end? Self accountability.  Not the most fun things, but they make a difference.

Week 48

So I've been dealing with a very toxic, volatile situation for a long time now.  I just deleted my rant about it as apposed to posting it.  The short version is if the parasites formally renting the house I now own think they are not moving on April 30, they are mistaken.

Enough said about that.

And I have nothing else to say, except I dislike being in a mental state where I cannot see past a situation to something positive.  Sadly due to things I'm not going to go into now, I am somewhat hardwired to obsess which kicks in my fight instinct.  My flight instinct was destroyed a long time ago.  Running solves nothing.  So I am in a constant battle to keep my brain in check at the best of times.  This isn't the best of times, and I have no issues admitting to it. 

Find something positive.  Chinese new year should be fun.  This weekend good food, good company and a show.  Also congrats to Elizabeth Walker who attended the Ging Wu banquet last weekend and won the 50/50 draw!  You lucky stinker!

ciao

Week 47

At least it's Saturday tonight and I'm not putting out another late posting.  What to write, what to write.  Well it's been a long and trying week.  This and that, gearing up for Chinese new year from an admin perspective is always a great deal of work.

It always seems to take so long to recover from Christmas mentally, physically, financially.  Now don't get me wrong, I don't over spend on presents or anything, but there are costs associated with traveling and feeding additional people as no doubt all of us know.

Couple that with all the big bills that come due at the beginning of the year, insurance, income tax, and so on.  All of these things add pressure to an already high octane time of year.  So how does one cope.

Well I snuggle with my dog.  And focus on doing a the best job I can. And reminding myself that everyone is going through the same things.  Try to take a step back and remember that there is a lot of stress out there and everyone is packing their own baggage.  I try to have a little more patience even if I am not feeling it.  Seems to work, or maybe I'm only fooling myself, but so far so good.

Week 46

Sometimes it feels like all I do is blog.  Then I do the math and realize it's probably because I blogged late last week and am trying to catch up again.  But you would think that would only make for so much catching up. 

Case in point, I started this blog post on Monday and here we are on Wednesday trying to finish my thoughts, so I can wait another 2 days to forget to post something for this week.  Gah!  My brain feels like an over baked potato.  If only there were broccoli and asparagus to go with it.

But I digress.  I was doing the math and this blog is # 46.  The one due Friday will be (obviously)  #47. So if we have 52 weeks a year, and promise to do 52 blogs for IHC, and I'm only coming up on #47 then I clearly pooched the math.  The joys of the standard calendar vs the lunar calendar.  Dur.  But as Angelo "Snaps" Provolone once said "a promise is a promise".  He promptly rolled his eyes and left the room, but he still said it.

For those unfamiliar with the above reference, watch Oscar.  By far the best Stallone movie ever made.  It's not even close.  All start cast, witty writing, and enough twists in the subplot to keep you guessing.  If it doesn't make you happy, I'll watch it with you and you can crack up watching me laugh my head off.

Week 45

Yes this is late, and yes it's because I forgot.  Sorry
So I'm trying to come up with a blog post and all I can think to write is that my brain is an over baked potato.

So year in review.  That was tasked to us to write about.  My year has been about asking Why 5 times.  The theory is in any situation if you ask why you do something 5 times and can't come up with 5 good unique answers, it's time for change.  I think that has been a strong guiding for me.

Why do I do it?  Why does it work? Why doesn't it work? Why would stop developing it's direction? Why wouldn't I pursue a new direction and see how that works?  Slightly a different take on the underlying principle, but has had a very good impact on my training with these 5 whys.

I fee that by adopting the Ask Why 5 Times, I've been able to get a deeper understanding of my system which in turn has made me a better and more articulate instructor as well as a better and more creative martial artist.  It has made me grow as a person.

So even though our ICH year is ending soon, I think this exercise of Asking Why 5 Times is something that qualifies as a life change.  Something to include as part of my sphere of normal.  Hey Why Not?

Week 44

A Fly landed at the edge of a puddle to drink and wash his face and hands.  He could feel the cold coming off the water, and when he touched it, it did not give way.  It moved beneath his touch and rippled but he could not press through the surface.  The Fly thought this was strange, so he tried again to touch the water, pushing harder.  Again the water recoiled and shimmered, not giving way, but this time he heard a protest as faint as the spring breeze.  "Please don't do that, it hurts me."

Confused, the Fly looked deep into the puddle to see who has spoken.  There were no others, only his reflection.  "Who are you?" asked the Fly. "I'm a Snowman" was the response.  The Fly looked all around.  He had never heard of a Snowman before.  He strained and strained to see this new creature, but all he found was the water.  "Where are you?" asked the Fly.  "I'm right here in front of you, you keep pushing on me trying to take some of me away."

Shocked and shamed that he had caused harm he tried again to locate the Snowman.  "Are you in the puddle? Do you live in the water?" asked the Fly.  "I am the water" said the Snowman.  The Fly tilted his head to the side, "I don't understand. If you are water, then you are not a Snowman."  The puddle shimmered and waved.  "I am a Snowman, the Sun has changed me."  The Fly thought he understood, having gone through many changes himself.  "Were you always a Snowman before the Sun changed you?" asked the Fly.  "I have had many changes in my life.  I started as an egg, then became a larva, and when I was old enough I became a Fly.  The sun gave me warmth, the world gave me food an water and time gave me growth."

The Fly was very proud that he understood.  The Snowman was less impressed. "You are only a Fly, a small thing.  I was the Ocean. The Sun warmed me and I flew up to him.  I found others like me and became a Cloud.  When the Sun turned away we got cold and became Snow.  We floated back to the Earth and became her blanket.  Then the children came along and bound us together into a Snowman.  I am a grand thing, you are not."

The Fly was hurt by this Snowman's words.  "Perhaps I am small, but I help the world.  Through out my life I clean the world.  I consume that which cannot be consumed and return it to the Earth. When I fly, my wings clean the air and my fur helps pollinate the grass, flowers and trees when I move among them. I have value, just as you do."

"Hardly," rippled the Snowman, "you do not bring joy.  You do not provide a home. When I was the Ocean, I was a home for the creatures.  When I was a Cloud I would change my shape and the people would admire me and guess what I was.  When I was Snow, I was pristine and beautiful.  And when I was a Snowman, they laughed and played with me.  They gave me a name and I was valued.  You are just a Fly.  You are ugly and you annoy people.  You do not bring them joy."

The Fly was silent a moment.  The Snowman, having established his importance spread out in the sunlight, pleased with himself.  When the fly spoke again, his voice was quiet and strong. "I am a Fly, and I have value regardless if you see it or not.  I may not have beauty, but I also do not have cruelty.  I help others and do my work without malice or vanity.  I do not speak to others to make them feel as though they are less than what they are, that they have no value.  And when you told me you were hurt, I tried to understand you so that it would not happen again.  Perhaps you were all of those things once.  Ocean, Cloud, Snowman.  Perhaps you did bring joy to others.  But now you are a puddle, one that is without joy or kindness.  You are a jaded puddle who judges others worth by their similarity to you and not for their own abilities.  You are a dark puddle and one I do not wish to be near." 

The Fly took to the sky and did not look back.  The Snowman stared after him, furious that such a lowly creature would speak to him that way.  He turned his face back to the Sun, waiting for the warm rays to bring him back up to the sky and begin again the cycle.  But something was wrong.  He felt heavy.  Slowly he realized he was sinking into the dirt beneath the grass.  He called out, but there was no one to hear.  Bit by bit he was absorbed into the ground with no one there to be joyed by his existence. The Snowman realized too late the value of the companionship and compassion offered by the Fly. 

The Fly flew around the meadow.  He landed beside a puddle clear and cold, far away from the other one.  The Suns rays dancing on it's surface, sparkling and bright.  The fly looked deep into the water. "Are you a Snowman?" asked the Fly.

Week 43

My Uncle Ray died on the 23.  The cancer spread into his bones and he knew it was a matter of time until he joined his wife Vicky who passed this fall.  His funeral is this weekend, which I'm not going to be able to attend.  Much as that upsets me, sometimes the reality of the situation is what it is.  Besides relationships are what are important, and I had a good one with Ray.  I'll miss him.  Funerals are for the living.  I have no doubts that despite my inability to attend, he knows its not from lack of respect or affection.  I saw him at Vicky's funeral, so at least I had the chance to say good bye.

So New Years Eve.  My plans begin and end with hot tea, movies and dog snuggles on the couch.  Might  not be exciting, but I happen to like hot tea, movies and snuggling with my dog on the couch.  Besides, between overhauling the house for the endless flow of people over Christmas and trying to practice for the demo and so forth, I think I've earned a little time being a lazy lump.  Might not get me to Mastery, but it will keep me sane.

In other news, my epic cough is back.  so not happy about that, but not back to work until the 7th, so I'm hoping to get over the lions share of the lung infection.

Anyway that's it.  Be safe if you are going out.

Week 42

Have you ever felt like this on the road to mastery?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OoaCiF1j7v8

I know I have because I'm Mr Incredible Baby!

Ok so I'm not Mr Incredible, but he does have a point here.  Several in fact.  Not the least of which is learning when you are in over your head and asking for help.

But by believing in your abilities and forging ahead we can make things happen.

Although sometimes that process makes us feel like this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIujM_1NAPY

Ok just watch the Incredibles 2, it's worth the giggle.

Week 41

I sit here blogging, many thoughts swirling around.  Had a few ideas, but nothing is really sticking out as being a topic to expand on.

So I go to an old fall back.  Raising awareness of species that humans have had a direct cause of going extinct.  For example:  Did you know the Woolly Mammoths and Mastodons were not only cold climate animals?  They weren't!  The largest Mammoth in fact was the Columbian Mammoth.

Their territory was from the north states to Costa Rica.  AND Mammoths are not closest related to African Elephants even though they look mostly like them.  The Asian Elephant is closest related.  The wildest part is that the Columbian Mammoth was the largest, and swam to the Channel Islands near California and became the smallest Mammoths - the Pygmy Mammoth.

And then people showed up and went CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP!

Nice of em, but have we really learned anything since then?  We still don't know how to manage our resources and we still wage wars over oil, narcotics, water, and other resources.  The bottom line is the most important thing to humans as an unfortunate whole is money.  So long as that is the case, we will continue to allow big business to make decisions for us, to elect leaders who cater to them, and to lament their choices without actually doing anything to change it.

Week 40

Here we are again, late on a Tuesday.  Time goes so fast as is, and it always picks up speed at the end of the year.  So many things to get organized. Where to begin?

Christmas is madness with family arriving and finding places to put them.  Grading and demos practice time and days of, always a hand full. And on and on and on.

Today is just about getting something on line.  That's part of the journey.  Even when you don't have time, or don't know what to say, still put it out there and tick one more off the list.  Not a great blog, but being the next Shakespeare isn't a quality of a champion.  Follow through is.  So we follow through.

Week 39

So no excuses, I forgot to blog.  I kept thinking, Ok I have to do that and then promptly wandered off to the next thing.  So that is full on my fault. 

What to write about?  Well I recently saw a documentary that made me have some very strong mixed emotions.  It was about using cloning to resurrect extinct species.  Now I'm not a big fan of cloning but I am a huge fan of NOT wiping species off the planet because we are irresponsible twits. I won't get into the whole religious perspective, but I do think it is a very slippery slope ethics wise.  In a way cloning can start to devalue life.  Oh that's gone, ok lets bake up a new one... DING! ready.  Seriously, did  you know for 100G you can have your pet cloned in Asia so when they die you have and exact genetic match and don't have to say goodbye to rover or spot?  You can even customize them to have neon toenails!  I'm not kidding, it's a real thing!  That's crazy!

However in some ways, I feel it would be a good thing to make amends for species that we are directly responsible for destroying.  Such as the thylacine commonly known as the tasmanian tiger( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thylacine , the giant moa of New Zealand ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/South_Island_giant_moa ), and the elephant bird of Africa( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elephant_bird ) to name only a few.

This documentary had several others on the list but the one that made me feel extra ookie was the Neanderthal.  I have no idea why I was so shocked about that ability.  I mean we have how many humans running around the place and according to these scientists a great number have Neanderthal DNA (which I have to admit I believe considering my dating history).  But to refer to resurrecting a human species as casual as you please in a documentary listed as extinct animals made my brain fall out.

Are they animals or people?  The documentary referred to them loosely as both.  WHAT!?  So, cloning in general in most countries is illegal, and cloning people is super illegal... but they want to put cloning Neanderthals on the to do list.  I don't know about you guys, but DANG!  THAT AIN'T RIGHT! 

Even if you did clone them, then what?  Put them in a Zoo?  It's not like they can get a job.  Unless it's working on the oil patch or driving cab - then maybe, but still!  You want to bring people into a world they don't understand, have no ability to function in, and then what? They won't have any culture, that is learned behavior and the last thing we need is more people acting like a bunch of entitled snots with a god complex.  Humans have that covered thanks.

I need to stop ranting, I'm getting all worked up.  Anyway, something to think about.  Just because we have the ability to do something, doesn't mean we should be doing it.  We need to think about what we do and how that effects things down the line. 

Week 38

Every week I find myself searching for something to write about.  If I think I have an idea, I try to note it down so I don't forget come blog time.  As the week evolves, emotions and perspectives flow and change, some of them become less important.  Well maybe not less important but less relevant in the moment.

This coupled with the sheer volume of blog expectations makes blogging one of the hardest requirements for me.  Include the massive demand my life has on time, and I find it very difficult to keep up with the requirements. 

And though I have posted something for every week, they have not always been in their week allotted.  Last week case in point was posted on a Tuesday, not the previous Friday.  I thought I was so cleaver making blog day on a Friday to give a buffer for completion.  Life has had other ideas.  So I guess the success of my completion of the blogging aspect is subjective. 

I have not completed all the assignments by their allotted times, but I have gotten something on line for every assigned week with in 48 hours of their due dates.  Is the success measured by the letter of the requirement, or by the spirit of it?  I'm not really asking, I know the answer.  I'm just talking to myself in an attempt to jog the grey matter into producing something of relevance and interest.  Doesn't seem to be working.

I guess a better question is at what point does the requirement stop being an assignment and become a life tool?  Where and how does that para dime shift happen?  Write about the journey.  Take consistent action.  Create habits that become lifestyle changes.   These are all steps for creating change.  But when does change happen?  Is it a sudden epiphany?  Is it a stealthy transference that happens gradually when you aren't paying attention to making it manifest?  Is it somewhere in between?  Is it consistent to all aspects?  Is it easier to change driving habits than it is to change study habits?  Is there a secret catalyst to accelerate change?  Once change happens, is it there forever?

The thing is there are so many variables to creating and maintaining change.  In my experience changes happen as uniquely as their situation and some changes need to be reinforced where as others are just there BLAM! no looking back.  Yet as diverse as they are, they all have one process in common.  Have a goal, take consistent action.  Including a success coach and reviews of the process are also great, but to me they are supporters of the core.  Know what you want, and work for it.  It's as simple and has hellishly hard as that.

Week 37

So my uncle is back in the hospital.  His kidney issues have escalated again and have now developed a heart problem for good measure.  Not sure how long he will be in, or if he will come out at all.  I guess we will wait and see.  The last few years have been chokkerblock full of funerals.  Not fun.

Week 36

"It's been a long days' night, and I've been workin like a dog"
Truer words I've not heard today.  Escalations, process reviews, and all manner of work related brain damage.  So much brain damage :(

"It's been a long days' night, I should be sleeping like a log"
Well it's a bit early for bed, but rest assured I'll be doing some heavy power sleeping in just a little while.  Hopefully Mira won't decide she's not ready for bed and attacking my toes under the blankets is a good idea.  I make no assumptions considering she thought it was the best idea last night.  Nothing like thinking she's finally settled down and you are drifting off, only to have a her burrow under the covers and put a cold, wet nose on your feet.  She's a weird dog.

Anyway, I'm tired and I'm not that much of a Beatles fan to begin with.  Although when I was in Liverpool I did go to a bar that they had preformed in before they made it big, at least so the story goes.

Ah Liverpool, described by those who live there as the armpit of the UK.  I didn't find it unpleasant, but that was what they said.  I did point out it could have been worse... it could have been the butt crack of the UK.  That seemed to make them feel better.  My work there was done.

Week 35

So the tournament has come and gone again.  This is the first year I have competed in our tournament.  Normally I take an admin roll, but as an IHC member, it is a requirement to compete.  So I competed.

In spite of the lung infection I have been battling, I took part in the pool noodle sword fight.  I knew I would pay for it but it was worth it and a lot of fun.  Thanks to everyone for showing up and contributing your time, expertise and smiles. 

Week 34

So a quick apology for the late blog.  I've been battling a lung infection (yes I went to the Dr) and I'm hoping this will be my first full day back at work.  We'll see.  The last time I had this much sick time was when I had H1N1 and I was really hoping it would just kill me and get it over with.  But I have to get back to work, the bills won't pay themselves (more is the pity).

But is hasn't all been lounging on the couch coughing my brains out, other things have been happening with or without me.  Such is the nature of life.

Remember if you will the opening to 60 minutes, with the image of the stop watch ticking away.  I've always found that ominous.  Yet that is the image that keeps playing over and over in my head.  This weekend I found out that my Aunt Audrey died on Saturday, and my Uncle George is suffering from kidney failure and has been shuttled off to the hospital 3 times a week for dialysis. 

Makes you realize that the people who you grew up with are becoming so fragile.  Somehow when you think of them, you see them as frozen in time as they were when you were little.  That you get older but nothing else changes outside your immediate sphere of influence.  My Grandfather used to say, the older you get, the faster time goes.  He wasn't just whistling Dixy.

Anyway, my lounges are killing me and I have to get my head in the game.

Week 33

Mastery is not the absence of failure.  Mastery is understanding that failure is the symptom of a problem.  Mastery is understanding the problem and creating resolution.  Mastery is knowing when to differ to others.  Mastery is knowing when to lead.  Mastery is knowing when to ask for help.  Mastery is knowing when others need help.  Mastery is understanding your abilities and using them to grow beyond your own expectations.  I believe the true test of Mastery is standing in front of a mirror, looking yourself in the eye and being able to say "I like and am proud of that person".

Week 32

Here I sit, trying to think of something to write.  Blogging every week is important, but it does deplete the creativity.  Talk about the journey, be meaningful, and so on.  The journey for self awareness is a tricky one. 

It's interesting the things you remember when you sit in deep reflection.  Things from years past that have been long forgotten.  Some relevant, some not.  It takes time to sort them out, find context either original or current. 

I had a discussion with Sifu Hayes some time back about the evolution of the mind and brain.  How as a person ages there are physical changes to the brain and how that can potentially affect perspective. 

This is something I had noticed in practicum over Christmas one year when my nephews were talking about how the world works, and how they have it all figured out.  Listening to a 17 and two 20 somethings, my sister and I just looked at each other and giggled.  Were we ever so young?

Again, reflection proves that once I was so young and foolish.  Hopefully now I am not simply older and foolish.  Changes in the brain and perspective doesn't always equate to increased maturity or wisdom.

Week 31

I keep feeling like I'm going under.  Like I keep getting further and further behind.  When you lead the lifestyle that we do, I would think I'm only one in the chorus for those thoughts.  But just keep slogging through, making choices, breaking trail.

Work is busy, home is busy, here is busy, life is busy.  Slow the mind, reorganize, breathe.  It will all work out in the wash.

Week 30

So late blog, having trouble writing one actually.  The urge to skip it for one week is overwhelming.  But a promise is a promise and I have to at least try.

It's been a long month, and last week up to today have been no easier.  There was an issue at work with some quality control and a lack of team work.  Which isn't so bad, but with all things being high octane, I pitched a bit of a fit on Thursday.  This particular fit resulted in a "Coaching Opportunity" artfully given by my manager, and resulting in an escalation process including a "strategy meeting" today for resolution of said escalation process.

As it turned out, I ultimately ended up with the resolution I was going for, but at the cost of much brain damage, little sleep and an extra scoop of anxiety.  Sadly not just for me.

Then there's the personal life.  I took my dad to the specialist last Monday because his Dr thinks he may have skin cancer.  Last time it was cancer in his kidney, which turned out well, so I'm hoping there is no reason for alarm.  Now I just have to convince him of that.  And this on the heals of my aunt dying of cancer a few weeks ago.  A long and horrific battle that ended a beautiful person all too soon.  Then there is Uncle Ray and Aunt Hazel who are also losing to cancer.  And Ray's wife Vicky in August.. also cancer.  So ya, been interesting.

K I'm exhausted mentally, emotionally, and physically, and now I'm done sharing. TTFN