Week 12

Nothing fancy tonight. My uncle is in the hospital awaiting a triple bypass. Dad was in Fort McMurray and the boys were at work when we got the call my uncle wasn't doing well. One of those "if you want to see him" kinda calls. So I had to take care of getting mom to Calgary, family first and all that. As it turned out he stabilized and we came home, but that's why I wasn't at the clean up. He is scheduled to go in for his triple bypass in 2 days. There is a fine line between needing emergency surgery and being too unstable to proceed. Not operating could kill just as fast as operating. As it happens, they have gotten him stable. With luck next weeks blog will be longer and more positive.

Week 11

Ok so I just deleted around 5 paragraphs. I didn't really know what I wanted to say, and I wasn't saying it very well. The larger concept I was going for was organization and accountability. I had anecdotes from work, life, and training. It just wasn't working. I guess the bottom line is keeping all the requirements moving toward "completion" is tricky at best. I don't know about everyone else but I could use about another 20 hours in the week. There is a lot on the go and keeping it all balanced, mindful and progressive is an accomplishment that shouldn't be underrated. Organization, follow through, and focus are the keys. If you start letting one thing slide, the others go right off the edge with it. Take each aspect one at a time and make them manageable pieces. You might have a huge pile of pieces to deal with, but eventually by taking consistent action, it all gets accomplished. I guess that's the idea for this week, don't get overwhelmed by the whole, make it manageable, and make it happen.

Week 10

The running tally continues. That being said I am going out of town tomorrow for a few days and realize that I am going to be too lazy, tired, or whatever excuse comes to mind to blog. Now that the confession is over, I am learning from last week's fiasco and posting early there in removing my ability to screw up. Well in this particular instance, there are plenty of other things I can make a mess of. But I digress. The blog I should have written last week is rolling over this week. I'm not totally convinced I want to write this particular blog, as I have spent the better part of the past 30 years keeping my personal and kung fu lives separate. Crossing that boundary is uncharted territory. One I'm still convincing myself is for the better. The question I keep coming back to is, who benefits from the "better" Did you notice I dodged around it again? Ok here goes. My mom had 12 siblings. 2 years ago the eldest of her younger brothers died in a fire taking the total from 6 boys in the family to 5. This year we are facing the fact that the oldest (her sister) has critical lymphatic leukaemia, has been taken off of chemo treatments and has been in the hospital since last Saturday. Very soon there will be 6 girls in the family, down from 7. Mom's sister in law (wife of one of the twins - youngest boys) has been battling brain cancer for the last few years. She has 20 growths in her brain, and they have now found 2 growths in her liver. She has 3 months to a year left. And though not in the same category for most, my 26 year old horse is slipping away. I've had her since she was 4 months old and she has been my best friend for over 2 decades. She is rapidly losing the battle of time, and I am doing everything I can to make her final time (however long that is) as comfortable as possible. I am dreading the day I have to make that call to the vet. It gets closer every day. Like playing Emotional Russian Roulette. Sadly they are all on borrowed time. But as I learned long ago Life and Death are 2 halves of the same whole. My parents gave us the gift of not sheltering us from experiences good or bad. Life has a valuable teacher called experience. Though some of them are harsher than others.

Week 9

So this is an unintentional situation. Part of consistent blogging is having a blog day. At least for me it is. My day is Friday. Sometimes I post on Saturday if things have been rushed, and so far it has worked. But not this week. This week I have been dealing with more than the usual life stuff and come Friday evening started coming down with a migraine that proved it was in for the duration. Lasting all day Saturday and into today. The reasons are not intended to excuse, but to give back story. Bottom line is I didn't blog on time. Thing is there are a couple ways to look at this situation. 1) I could have blogged any day this past week. I didn't have to wait until Friday. That means i didn't set myself up for success when I should have. My fault and failure. 2) I blogged as soon as I was able and though late followed the intention of the journal if not the exact letter of it. Regardless of how you view the situation, the fact remains my week 9 blog went live in the beginning of week 10. Being something I take seriously, I feel taking public accountability of my lack of action is important. I see it no different than a speeding ticket. The signs for speed allowances are (in most cases) clearly posted, and where not posted there are understood guidelines of expectation. This is a known fact. When I choose to speed and get caught, I am accountable in that I was aware of the expectation and chose to not act accordingly. Many people plane the police officer giving the ticket, which I think is silly. That person has no control of the choices I make, however they are tasked with dealing with the results of the choices I make. So at the end of the day, I pay my fine and accept I have control of my gas pedal. Just as I have control of my keyboard. Moral of the story is I'll do better.

Week 8

The bane of my existence... in C major No not really, though I do find many people live as though everything is a massive disaster. Others not so much, G major. I often find myself saying "That's my first world problem for today" and sometimes I say it more than once. G major 7. The thing is it's very easy to forget yourself and get caught up in the little frustrations. I have by no means gotten that particular habit under control, as anyone who spends more than 5 seconds realizes, C major. But there is a difference between a good vent and actually stockpiling frustrations, C major. Sometimes its the small transitions that make all the difference, A minor. Such as remembering that we have a home, food, and a family who usually loves us but makes no promises in the heat of the moment when we are melting down, D major 7. So I do my best, as often as needed to remember that there are worse things out there than what ever currently has my Irish up, G major. There are things that are quite powerful in positivity in this world that can be easily overlooked if you are distracted by things that are irritating but have no real impact, G major. Like when second cup runs out of whipped cream for my caramel hot chocolate, not ideal but is it really worth self-destructing the rest of my day? G major. No it's really not, G major 7. And yet I've seen people implode over just such an occasion (not me) C major. It gives me cause to wonder if they realize the impact they are having on the person they are raining pain on because their mocha frapawhatever won't make their butt as big as fast, C major. If anything the person at the barista is doing them a favour for not adding the fluffy good stuff to their impending heart attack, A minor. I mean I'm all for accountability and doing your best at your job and not making mistakes that will impact others, A minor 7. Sometimes it's a reality, which is unfortunate but again is it really worth choosing to be upset over? D major. I don't think so, D major 7. The real trick is keeping that choice in front of you, the fact that you choose to be happy, sad, angry, goofy, belligerent or whatever, G major. You have that power and you choose to see things as a disaster or as a first world problem, G major 7. I think what a lot of us don't realize is, it's those little challenges that define us and make us stronger or weaker. Make us happy or miserable, make us what we are because they drive what we do. It's up to us to change that difficult cord and turn it into a positive note, C major.

Week 7

So it's blog time again. The team meeting was interesting. I learned some new awesome things about our team. But what struck me was how reluctant people were to talk about themselves. I could be reading it wrong, but I think a lot of people were selfconcios. Not surprising really, more puzzling. We always talk about bonding and being a team and a support structure, yet we spent a lot of time discussing how hard it is for us to really pull together and form bonds. We had some good suggestions on how to resolve it, but still I wonder if it is less to do with reaching out an more to do with our own fears of rejection. I'm fairly sure at one point or other we have questioned ourselves, at least I know I have had my struggles with feeling like I was valued. So in the end, know I value you and see you as someone with something to contribute. It's not just about finding your voice, it's about believing others want to hear it. I want to hear your voice.

Week 6 - The Sequel

So I thought I would post a follow up on the swimming front. Bought a bunch of my gear and my scuba course yesterday. Went for my swim, figured I would try out the prescription goggles (which are awesome) and the diving booties. I didn't want to use the fins yet, because I thought I should get used to a few pieces at a time, and I knew the fins would make the swim easier by a large margin. So on went the booties. Holy Crapolie I thought I was gonna drown! Those boots weigh nothing when dry and are so comfy you forget you are wearing them. But get em wet, and you might as well try to tow a car engine across the pool. Pretty sure I looked like an Orca with a back problem, flopping around and puffing away. Special thanks to Mr. Sollinger for not falling over laughing (he subbed in for Sifu Beckett because she couldn't make our swim appointment). Aside from looking like a drowning fool, it cut my swim in half. I only completed 12 lengths as apposed to the 20 I have worked to build up to. Each length is 25m so 20 lengths is 500m or a half km, and I was rather proud of my progress. Add the booties, and wham! down to a quarter km and legs feeling like they went 10 times that far. So what is the moral of this story, well I'll be wearing booties and working my way back up. I was still able to complete the required 250m for the course wearing the booties, and the course is in June, so I have time to build up the strength. Not a lot of time, but still time to work on it.