Week 20

I was at a funeral on Saturday, hence my absence from the meeting. It was for my 2nd cousin Vicki. She had a sudden heart attack on July 1st and died at 85. Vicki was married to my mom's cousin Ray. She was a stick of dynamite, which to me has more value than someone with no tenacity or worse yet, honesty. Vicki was married and had 7 children. Her husband had a heart attack and she was left to raise her 7 kids on her own until she met Ray. Ray didn't bat an eye, he just loved her and the children with no questions or reservations. I was 4 years old when they got married, and no I'm not telling you how many years because no one needs to do the math. Anyway back to Vicki. Stick of dynamite. Vicki was almost 5ft tall, but she had a big personality and voice to match. She was not formally educated, but she was a shrewd business woman and co-ran the hardware store Ray's father left him. Together they had a successful and happy life. They lived simply and enjoyed family, day car trips, wood working and building crafts to sell at farmers markets, and keeping up on the small town gossip. Vicki and Ray were very close with my parents and us kids. Their spontaneous visits were always welcome, and we knew the door was always open to us (if you could catch them at home - we always called first before going up there). I remember the time Vicki's kids got her and Ray a trip to BC on the train. Quite a pricy gift and one I know they were both looking forward to, but neither of them were big fans of the idea of being away from home over night let alone for a week. So they came and asked me to take care of their place (I was in my 20's). Vicki eyed me up and asked me how much I wanted to watch their place for a week, ever ready to negotiate the best deal. I told them I needed a book shelf, and if Ray built me a book shelf, I would watch their house. Seemed like a great deal to both of us. So I went up the weekend before they left learned all about the little quirks of the house and how much to feed Vicki's spoiled fish (she had a huge tank in the living room and dad used to tease her that they were pan sized). They left with peace of mind and I had a nice relaxing week taking care of their place. It was literally the only time I enjoyed "living" in town. A few weeks after they got back, Ray and Vicki pulled into the yard... with matching book shelves. I asked for only one. On top of that they handed me a few hundred dollars. I tried to protest, as all I wanted was the shelves, but they insisted. In her gruff way, Vicki was very generous and once she made up her mind, well it was a done deal. Ray and I actually talked about that time on Saturday. He surprised me when he brought it up, like he could tell what I was thinking about. Vicki was a stick of dynamite. I didn't realize at the time, but I learned something from her. I realized it this weekend when I was reflecting on her life, what I knew of her, what affection we had for her. She taught me that even if your opinion is not popular or politically correct, it is still your voice. You have a right to it and you have to stick to it. These are things that I have said to others many times, but I never associated the wisdom to her until now. She lived that way, she didn't care who you were, if she had something to say popular or not, you got it right between the eyes with both barrels. I respect that immensely. She never took me aside and spelled it out for me, she just was who she was. Her strength was just there for me to learn from. Sadly an unacknowledged gift, I would have liked to let her know the positive influence she had. I'm worried about Ray though. Ray has had bone cancer for a while now. He hasn't got a lot of time left, few months, maybe a year at best. Ray is the opposite of Vicki. He's no one's fool, but he is a soft spoken gentile soul. I hope he doesn't give up, though I can understand if he wanted to be reunited with his wife. So Ray is alone now, he has good neighbors, family and friends to look out for him, but they are not Vicki. I'll keep an eye out for him as best I can as will the rest of the family. Still, that house is going to be very quiet without his stick of dynamite. Cherish those who are in your heart, it's the only place you really get to keep them.