Nice Guys & Friend Zone

WARNING: this youtube post has a lot of swearing in it. However if you forgive that, he makes some really good points about relationships and our approach to them. I think at one point or other we have all experienced what he is talking about. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rZu-tBi7DM

A certain point of view

So much of our lives depends on our point of view. It makes such an impact that we don't even see it in ourselves. Yet it is there. Today I had lunch with the girls I used to work with. These people were a huge part of my life for a long time, and we stuck together through a very unhealthy work environment. Emotionally and physically, the work we did was very hard to face everyday. But we pulled together and faced it united. We did our best to hang on so that we wouldn't let each other down. 3 of the 5 of us have moved on and found other work. One of the remaining ladies is expecting a baby (yay for her) and will be out soon as well. The last of us, well she is close to retirement age and from the sounds of it, is going to try and ride it out. I was very excited to have our girls lunch today. As the first to leave the job we had, there were things happening that I was brought up to speed on. Nothing surprising, but still unpleasant. There is no need to get into the specifics. My point, such that it is, is every one of us were so excited that we no longer, or soon would no longer work in that job. We all expressed similar thoughts... we no longer had to deal with that environment, and we had no idea how badly that environment had been affecting us. Impacting ourselves and those around us in very strong ways. This got me thinking. I've always known that what we think and choose to act on affect our lives and the lives of those around us. What I didn't realize is how severely and environmental influence can affect it. I consider myself fairly level headed... I have a wicked hot temper, but that's not the same as being lacking in common sense. Yet I know that my decisions are so much more clear now, and that I'm smiling and laughing all the time. It actually makes me a little self conscious and doubting if things are really that funny. But I haven't laughed and joked and smiled this much since I was living over seas. I felt so free and there was no pressure or stress then. I thought it had to be a phenomena of being on an extended holiday. I had gotten so used to life being one big stress ball that it was white noise. But it turns out, a change of environment and perspective is the true answer. One doesn't have to survive that way. And I do mean survive... none of us were living in that situation. But now that we are out, it was like looking in a mirror... these guys has the same stupid smiles and happy eyes that I did. These ladies that I worked with are very treasured friends and I am grateful that they are part of my life. I would not trade the negative experiences and circumstances of our meeting away, because that would mean I would have to give them up as well. But I am glad that we have maintained our bond even though we have gone our separate ways. Something I hope we continue to nurture and maintain. We are going to do a road trip... I'll make sure we get that done. Too easy to say someday, So we will have to set a date, and see it through.

Winds of Change

I have been absent for a very long time on this forum. There are many reasons, but I'm hoping enough time has passed and effort paid to resolve them. If not, I guess I'll find out in a hurry. But I digress. I've had some major changes in the last little while. I have a new job, which is fantastic, and I have made new friends and have maintained old friendships. This (maintaining) is a pretty big accomplishment for me. My time is at a premium. I'm not kidding, I have to schedule time to do laundry. So it's unfortunate but hopefully understandable when I drift off from people who I no longer see on a regular basis. At least that's what I've been telling myself. It's crap by the way. I changed jobs for the immeasurable better, but I still care about the people I left behind so to speak. I've found my schedule hasn't changed... it's still ridiculously busy, but I have put in a bigger effort. Considering that effort can be summed up in a few text messages and phone calls here and there, it shows just how pitiful my non efforts were before. Do you realize when my sister lived in Ontario, I would go a couple YEARS at a time not talking to her. No fight, no issues, no problems. I was just "Busy". Now that she is in Calgary, she hears from me every couple of months... which is how often my other sister hears from me so at least it's fair now. I know, I'm a big jerk. I have gone to my nephew's baseball games, something I would not have made time for in the past. "sorry I'm working" I can't even count how many times my family has heard that out of me. It was true, but the rest of the sentence was "and that's my priority". And that's all it comes down to. My priorities. Don't get me wrong. I am perfectly happy with my life style, and I am busy working, which is a choice I continue to make. And no I'm not making a resolution to be more soft and fuzzy, I'm just looking at the reality and being honest about it. I'm looking at my priorities and I am seeing where I do have some time after all to include things I used to weasel out of. I guess my desire to jump ship on certain things has diminished. So here is the ugly truth. I have had some really good things happening in my life lately. I feel way more positive and am much happier. I'm also seeing thing as an opportunity instead of an obligation. Amazing what perspective can do for you. But that's it. When I have something useful to say, we'll chat again.