Faces in the Mirror

Empathy is something that most people are oblivious to. I've been meaning to write this particular blog for quite some time, but have not done so thus far.

It has to do with reflections of UBBT6, with empathy, with acts of kindness, and most of all how we view our work and those in it.

Many people, myself included, have been mentioning how awareness and mindfulness have increased this last year. Something I have noticed is as people, we classify others as disposable humans. The person who pumps your gas, the server that brings your meal, the custodian who cleans up after us. When was the last time you spoke with someone in a "lesser" profession, much less looked them in the eye and said "Thank You" and actually meant it?

The most common one I've picked up on is the serving staff. They bring your meal, ask how things are, and clean up after you. How many of you could tell what colour their hair is? What their name is? If they smiled when you spoke with them? How many of us just say thank you with out looking up or breaking stride in our conversation? How many of us just ignore them completely? How does it become okay for our society to treat a person with a complete lack of respect and total indifference simply because of their job? Do we know if this person is putting themselves through med school, or supporting a single income family? Do we care?

How many of us are annoyed by the constant attention, and then further annoyed when we finally get rid of the server only to need something and they aren't around? I've had service based jobs before, and people can be major jerks. Looking down on you, or not even noticing you at all. I'm not really sure which is worse. I do know how we treat others is a reflection of ourselves. Are we worthy of more respect just because we are the one being served? I think not.

Personally, I try to look someone in the eye and say a real thank you every time. I try to be mindful of the fact that manors out of habit are not really manors. They are a reaction like catching a ball at the last second before it cranks you one in the head. Something you have trained yourself to do with out thought or focus. It's not really polite, just habit, but better than nothing in a sense.

I tip the kid who pumps gas for me at the station. Sure he's getting paid to do it, but lets face it, when it's -40 and I don't have to get out of my toasty warm truck to refuel, the least I can do is buy him a coffee.

So mindfulness and keeping empathy awareness paramount in our minds has been something UBBT has given to us. If we were mindful before, we have gained the skill of becoming more so. If not, we have learned a new and valuable social skill. Something to think about.

Reflections

As SRKF students we are given the assignment to write "What Kung Fu Has Done For Me". This assignment is then presented during our black belt promotion to the entire student body, fellow black belts, and guests. The purpose is to think about (obviously) what training in the martial arts has done for us, how it has changed us, and what paths we have chosen for ourselves in our lives and the influence Kung Fu has had on them.

We, the UBBT Team 6 Student Members have been given this same assignment in regards to the UBBT journey. Once again a time to think about the effect the choices and challenges of this journey has had on us.

Understanding what Kung Fu has done for me is extremely easy for me to define. It has quite literally saved my life. I would not be who I am with out it. I very much doubt I would have lived as long as I have with out it. But that is another story.

What UBBT has done for me is exceedingly more difficult to verbalize. It has not done nearly as much for me as my kung fu has, and it never could. No offense, but that's just the way it is. But what has it done? I will try to guide you on this journey from my eyes.

For our school, it has rekindled the passion in a lot of the black belts. Some of our guys were struggling, lacking in a sense of purpose. Finding it hard to discover the progress they felt prior to black belt. This journey helped them realize their goals and focus their training. Their increased presence inspired our non black belt students to strive for higher levels of excellence. Once again we were leading by example, and our students and black belts flourished. Some of those signing up for team 7 are border line rabid as far as rallying for the second go around.

For my team mates, again it gave them a sense of purpose, and the creativity was most impressive. I witnessed personal growth in individuals and success that they did not believe themselves capable of. I saw a real increase of people moving beyond the constraints of protocol and into friendships. A banding together of people to accomplish something, and becoming family.

For myself, I have achieved many personal goals more quickly than I would have anticipated. In true form, I set myself a break neck pace, and fate only knows how, forced my way through. I have reinforced the belief that anything is possible, you just have to want it bad enough AND put in the sweat equity to get it.

It has made me come to depend on my team mates in a way I never have before. I miss working out with them when I am doing over time at my job. I find myself missing the kwoon, and those with in it, as I'm rarely if ever there (or so it seems at least).

I have found that through this journey, I have become less forgiving of the excuses and words like "can't" or "I wish". If you think you can't, guess what... you're right. If you aren't willing to try, willing to fail, and willing to try again, well there's nothing anyone can do for you. Set yourself up for success, and what do you know, you will eventually succeed.

I have been forced, and yes I do mean forced, to blog. This has in turn forced me to be more open to others. I gotta tell you, not real impressed about that. But it has, with out doubt or reservation, forced me to expand my world. My family will attest to the fact that if you are not someone I see daily, you will fade out of my life.

One of my sisters lives @ 2000 miles away. The only time I call, text, or email her is in response to something she has sent me. I'm not trying to be a jerk, but I am very busy, and I'm a lot anti social. She and I have very little in common, and rarely see eye to eye. Actually we spend most of our time snarling at each other. Much to my shame, she and her family are not a priority for me. How many of you know she had a child @ 4 months ago. I'm not even positive what day her daughter (my niece) was born on. I think it's July 16th, but don't quote me on that. I haven't met Ninja (Nena Josephine) yet, and I'm not all that worried about meeting her. I know that makes me the biggest crank pot on the planet, but I have no emotional attachment to her. For both Ninja's and my sake, I hope that changes once I actually meet her.

I have been exposed to the world in ways I never thought I would ever allow. I have confessed to having my inner demons, and have basically dared the world to disapprove. This is what I am, for good or bad, this is it.

I don't think that the UBBT journey has changed me, but it has forced me to show what is already there. Somehow, I don't think this blog is finished. This assignment is not one that can be completed easily. It calls for more reflection, requires a chance to evolve, and perhaps teach me what I have learned.

Life, the Universe, and the Number 42

Some will know the reference the title makes, some not. Meh, it is what it is.

I've been very angry lately. There is a lot going into that, some of which can be shared, some of which is none of anyone's business. What else is new.

There she goes again, making it very clear that the lines in the sand are still drawn. That's just who I am I guess. My one sister describes me as a very private person, where as my other sister views me as crass. Most likely the same thing, only their perspectives differ.

I find this time of year very complicated. I am referring to Remembrance Day. I've always felt that one day a year is insufficient to properly honor those who gave their very beings for us. More so that I know many people currently serving over seas, and many more in the process of preparing to deploy. Perhaps it is also affected by having known someone who did not return from war. Hard to believe it's going to be 2.5 years come December. Time is a merciless mistress, but our mistress all the same.

Anger seems to be an old friend. I have had many occasions where it's all that has kept me going. A place where the last reserves of strength hide. It's by no means healthy, but it is there. Harness it and control it's outlet. Define it and defuse it. Learn to live with the potential, and be in control.

That's a funny word, isn't it? Control. There are so very many things that we do not have control of. We have the illusion of control, but no actual power. I guess that is why it's so easy to release control of the things we do have power over. Easy to make the excuses and shirk responsibility. But that's all they are, excuses.

Doesn't change anything. Bottom line you still have to deal with your baggage. No one else can do it for you, they can help if you open yourself to them, but they can't do it for you. You just gota put on your big girl undies and deal with it. Easy advise to give, following through is another matter.

Log in Log out

Life can be so mundane. Work, sleep, repeat. Sometimes, the schedules we keep ourselves to makes your soul scream for something else. They say a change is as good as a rest. I guess that is true, but getting back to basics is even better.

I attended our annual year end at the DZ. I saw the people that make my life unique, as each one of them is special. (sometimes in a olympic sense) But just to sit by the fire and talk, laugh, and just be. No where to go, no expectations. Just them and the moment. It felt really good.

Then back to work today, and tomorrow, and tomorrow.... well you get the idea. (and the shakespeare reference) ;P

But I digress, what we do and think define us. We make ourselves ordinary, just as we make ourselves extraordinary. My friends help keep me pushing beyond. As 3WA puts it... Who does this @#$%?

WE DO.