Week 27

This week has been derailed so to speak.  My aunt with brain cancer died this weekend.  She has been suffering for years and is no longer suffering.  Funny how the living try to comfort themselves with the well being of the dead.

There are many traditions that are based in our own fears or in old survival tactics that are no longer needed in society.  Like Brides Maids & Grooms Men.  That practice came about with warring tribes where decoys were dressed up the same as the Bride and groom in order to keep the enemy from picking out who was getting married from the crowd.  It was in essence a survival tactic that has become tradition.  It now serves a completely different purpose, but the practice has survived.

And I think I'm coming down with a summer cold.  Off to bed.

Week 26

We are over the half way mark, and I find myself doing a constant inventory of everything I have left on my list.  I also find myself struggling with things that are outside the routine. 

Most of the requirements are trudging along - guitar lesson every friday night, dog training on the weekends, and so on.  But there are certain times of the year that things ball up.  End of August is haying, Beginning of September is new students, End of October Black Belt Gradings, Christmas (well that's a ball of brain damage that is self explanatory), January new student adults and their new year resolutions, well you get the idea.

There is a lot going on, and on, and on.  But somehow we check things off the list.  Not as many as I would like, but here and there is evidence of progress.  Somehow when you are invested in a process, you do what you do to make time for it. 

Part of all of that is reevaluating your progress and your goals.  Those that are finished, those that are ongoing.  For example, I'm finding having my guitar instructor off shore is far more tricky than I had anticipated.  We are still doing our lesson, but we are at the mercy of internet connections and band width.  it can be frustrating.  But I've committed to my instructor and he has committed to me, so we make it work.  We may have to reevaluate that in the future should we find this is not sustainable, but we put in the effort and don't give up out of hand. 

Anyway, I really have nothing of profound importance, just more of the same.  Stay focused, stay on it, and set  yourself up for success.  As much as possible anyway.

Week 25

There are things that go bump in the night.  When you grow up, you stop believing in them.  In the place of that darkness comes something more tangible but no less invasive.  Stress, pressure, being pulled in all directions.  These are the night terrors of the real world.  They are not ethereal like goblins and monsters, but they keep you awake as surely as the glowing eyes in the closet of your youth.  Sadly, these denizens of the night are not so easily dispelled as realizing the glowing eyes belong to the cat who is napping in your laundry hamper.

With them they bring other conditions.  From fatigue comes depression, a sense of loss of power, and the desire to walk away.  The question is, how do we get through it?  We keep going, we pull together if needed, but we do not stagnate.

I remember some years ago I was  having a rather horrible couple of weeks.  I was ready to pack up the dog and the horses and move to the mountains as a hermit, never to be seen again.  I was done with humans, responsibility, society, social and professional environment.  I just didn't want to play anymore.  I made a somewhat droopy post on facebook.  One of only a hand full per year, and the response I got was overwhelming.  My friends were on instant alert with well wishes and offers to be  there.  Strange as it was, one of my guy friends, a man of few words, just posted a link to a song.  Corny and Cliche as it may be, I listened to that song.  If you are going through hell, keep going, you will make it out the other side. 

That gave me pause.  How many times do we feel we are "in Hell".  Emotionally, intellectually, spiritually?  How many times do we say to ourselves, I'm in Hell.  That implies lack of motion.  If you are in something, you are not moving forward.  If you are not moving forward, you won't get through the other side.

So I answer my question, how do we get through?  Keep going, you will make it to the other side.  That has become a bit of a mantra for me when things are looking their blackest.  Just keep going, you will make it through.

Week 24

So I've learned a couple things this week.  For one, I may have fixed the problem with my blogs not having any paragraphs.  Turns out my blog was defaulting to HTML.  Little does this non computer savvy person know, but apparently that is a code writing setting so all proper paragraphs and literary settings don't exist in it's opinion.  So we will try the compose setting and see if that is the magic bullet it claims to be.

I have learned that though taking guitar lessons over the internet when your instructor moves to the other side of the planet is possible, it comes with it's on set of frustrations when the bandwidth drops and you lose the live video meeting 7 times.  So we try to find a way to decrease the issues and soldier on.  Maybe I could go to Bali and get my lessons once a week... na the jet lag would kill me.

I have learned that if a skunk sprays something the smell will dissipate with time, but a dedicated puppy can find the stink and roll in it, leaving a slight almost ghost of a skunk smell.  So very attractive.  Especially when combined with the wonderful scent of swamp mud and pond water.  For the record, daily baths are not something baby T-Rex enjoys.

I already knew that time went at break neck speed and that there are not enough hours in the day, days in the weeks, and so on, but I keep finding myself thinking that I'll get it all done... lying to yourself does not make things work out.  #justsayin  Somehow you just have to pony up and get it done.  Amazing who sickness makes the pile higher.  Head down, move forward.

I have learned a great many other things, but lets face it, this is barely interesting.  So we'll move on.  I didn't take a "holiday" this year.  Except at Christmas.  I do my best to always book Christmas off, if for nothing else but a sanity check.  I just booked a long weekend here, a midweek day there.  I'm really missing the actual shutdown time.  But with everything going on, it's probably better this way.  I don't have the extra time to spend doing nothing.  Again, I schedule time to do laundry.  How sad is that?

But I digress, remember the positives and wish me luck with the blog fix.  I'm sure once I hit publish we will know if there really is hope for technology.  #technologysucks #justsayin