Learning to be Average

I've lost count of how many times I've been told I don't play well with others. My family, my friends, pretty much anyone who's met me realizes that there are no surprises. I'm right there, in your face, all the time.

My mom often asks me "Do you always have to be so harsh?" My sisters have been know to say "Don't hold back Lis, tell us how you really feel" (can you hear the sarcasm?) Alternate that statement with spitting beverages through their noses after I offer an opinion, and you have the idea.

Okay, okay, I get the hint. Doesn't mean I'm going to change anytime soon, but if it makes anybody feel better, I am listening, and I do get it.

I have been thinking a lot of the "Mastery" assignment our students do when they are preparing for taking the Black Belt Exam. A cool assignment in and of itself. But what has really been striking me is the message that we create our own personal mastery.

I've always believed in creating your own destiny or mastery of said destiny. I have always strived to live the example, but have never really had a point of comparison. For the last 18 years, I have been surrounded with others who strive to achieve personal mastery. I unconsciously seek out people with mastery.

My skydiving instructors are world champion competitors (literally). My friends are strong willed alpha people, and I am always around people in the martial arts who's very being screams of self improvement. Is it any surprise that non masters make me nuts?

So back to being average. Lately I have been working with a new group of people. Nice people, but people who are contented to be average. People who expect me to be average as well, and to live at the standard they have accepted for themselves. I'm continually shocked when I'm told not to work so hard. Not to worry about it. Or my personal favorite, don't kill yourself, it doesn't have to be perfect.

Yah, actually it does. If you are going to do something, do it right. I don't care what you are doing. Writing a blog, organizing an event, or cleaning up bird poop from the deck. Take pride in what you are doing and do a good job. Okay, I know it's hard to have pride in cleaning up bird poop, but you get the idea.

I don't like being told not to excel. I accept that I won't always excel, and that there are things I'm down right pitiful at, but to be told that something less than my best effort is acceptable..... well that goes against the grain. I don't understand how to live like that, and I am having a very difficult time relating to people who think that way.

All I know is I don't want to look back and say "I had that opportunity, and I didn't take it" The things we do make a difference. We don't always get credit, or recognition, but the difference is still there. Many times it will be unnoticed or unappreciated, but it's still there.

My greatest fear is living my life and having not made a difference. That I wasted my time here, and didn't take the opportunities presented to me.