when all else fails

I sit here staring at the screen, disjointed thoughts and frustration my companions. I really hate blogging. I've no doubt that it is making a difference, as any type of discipline if good for a person. Discipline and follow through on something you dislike is especially good for you, as it takes more. More effort, more motivation, more commitment, more... well you get the idea.

I find this requirement very hard. During the week, I'll think of things that I could blog about. Sometimes funny, sometimes serious. Emotional, reserved, and everything in between. Then I sit here and try to convince myself to just start typing. One would think it easy to create an entry, taking thought and turning it into the written history of your personal existence. A place to talk to yourself or to others with out direct judgement or reproach.

Some find a certain freedom in written expression. A way to open up with out having to directly experience the reaction of others to their thoughts or feelings. To exercise their freedom of expression. I find it as pleasant as having my fingernails ripped off with pliers. (or so I would imagine).

I have made a commitment to blog, and I dig deep every week to put something up. Sometimes it's absolute nonsense, but it's not a requirement to be Shakespeare, just consistent. I can't tell you how thankful I am for that little loop hole.

We all face trials, challenges, and walls. Our own demons are no stronger or weaker to us than other's are to them. Learning to focus, continue to move forward, or just maintain the existence for one more day in spite of these conflicts can be difficult to surmount. But we are all capable. We all have something that we need to accomplish. Something that we have promised that we must find a way to deliver. Some commitment that we see through to the end. A personal goal, UBBT member or not, martial artist or not, but it is there universally to all beings.

And we do it, even when all else fails.