Reflections

As SRKF students we are given the assignment to write "What Kung Fu Has Done For Me". This assignment is then presented during our black belt promotion to the entire student body, fellow black belts, and guests. The purpose is to think about (obviously) what training in the martial arts has done for us, how it has changed us, and what paths we have chosen for ourselves in our lives and the influence Kung Fu has had on them.

We, the UBBT Team 6 Student Members have been given this same assignment in regards to the UBBT journey. Once again a time to think about the effect the choices and challenges of this journey has had on us.

Understanding what Kung Fu has done for me is extremely easy for me to define. It has quite literally saved my life. I would not be who I am with out it. I very much doubt I would have lived as long as I have with out it. But that is another story.

What UBBT has done for me is exceedingly more difficult to verbalize. It has not done nearly as much for me as my kung fu has, and it never could. No offense, but that's just the way it is. But what has it done? I will try to guide you on this journey from my eyes.

For our school, it has rekindled the passion in a lot of the black belts. Some of our guys were struggling, lacking in a sense of purpose. Finding it hard to discover the progress they felt prior to black belt. This journey helped them realize their goals and focus their training. Their increased presence inspired our non black belt students to strive for higher levels of excellence. Once again we were leading by example, and our students and black belts flourished. Some of those signing up for team 7 are border line rabid as far as rallying for the second go around.

For my team mates, again it gave them a sense of purpose, and the creativity was most impressive. I witnessed personal growth in individuals and success that they did not believe themselves capable of. I saw a real increase of people moving beyond the constraints of protocol and into friendships. A banding together of people to accomplish something, and becoming family.

For myself, I have achieved many personal goals more quickly than I would have anticipated. In true form, I set myself a break neck pace, and fate only knows how, forced my way through. I have reinforced the belief that anything is possible, you just have to want it bad enough AND put in the sweat equity to get it.

It has made me come to depend on my team mates in a way I never have before. I miss working out with them when I am doing over time at my job. I find myself missing the kwoon, and those with in it, as I'm rarely if ever there (or so it seems at least).

I have found that through this journey, I have become less forgiving of the excuses and words like "can't" or "I wish". If you think you can't, guess what... you're right. If you aren't willing to try, willing to fail, and willing to try again, well there's nothing anyone can do for you. Set yourself up for success, and what do you know, you will eventually succeed.

I have been forced, and yes I do mean forced, to blog. This has in turn forced me to be more open to others. I gotta tell you, not real impressed about that. But it has, with out doubt or reservation, forced me to expand my world. My family will attest to the fact that if you are not someone I see daily, you will fade out of my life.

One of my sisters lives @ 2000 miles away. The only time I call, text, or email her is in response to something she has sent me. I'm not trying to be a jerk, but I am very busy, and I'm a lot anti social. She and I have very little in common, and rarely see eye to eye. Actually we spend most of our time snarling at each other. Much to my shame, she and her family are not a priority for me. How many of you know she had a child @ 4 months ago. I'm not even positive what day her daughter (my niece) was born on. I think it's July 16th, but don't quote me on that. I haven't met Ninja (Nena Josephine) yet, and I'm not all that worried about meeting her. I know that makes me the biggest crank pot on the planet, but I have no emotional attachment to her. For both Ninja's and my sake, I hope that changes once I actually meet her.

I have been exposed to the world in ways I never thought I would ever allow. I have confessed to having my inner demons, and have basically dared the world to disapprove. This is what I am, for good or bad, this is it.

I don't think that the UBBT journey has changed me, but it has forced me to show what is already there. Somehow, I don't think this blog is finished. This assignment is not one that can be completed easily. It calls for more reflection, requires a chance to evolve, and perhaps teach me what I have learned.